I Think I'll Call It America

Bob Dylan's 115th Dream












I was riding on the Mayflower
when I thought I spied some land
I yelled for Captain Arab
I'll have you understand
who came running to the deck
said boys, forget the whale
we're going over yonder
cut the engines
change the sail
"haul on the bowline"
we sang that melody
like all tough sailors do
when they're far away at sea

I think I'll call it America
I said as we hit land
I took a deep breath
I fell down, I could not stand
Captain Arab he started
writing up some deeds
he said let's set up a fort
and start buying
the place with beads
just then this cop
comes down the street
crazy as a loon
and throws us all in jail
for carrying harpoons

ah me, I busted out
don't even ask me how
I went to get some help
I walked by a guernsey cow
who directed me down
to the Bowery slums
where people carried signs around
saying ban the bums
I jumped right into line
saying I hope that I'm not late
when I realized I hadn't eaten
for five days straight

I went into a restaurant
looking for the cook
I told him I was the editor
of a famous etiquette book
the waitress he was handsome
he wore a powder blue cape
I ordered some suzette, I said
could you please make that crepe
just then the whole kitchen
exploded from boiling fat
food was flying everywhere
I left without my hat

I didn't mean to be nosy
but I went into a bank
to get some bail for Arab
and all the boys back in the tank
they asked me for some collateral
and I pulled down my pants
they threw me in the alley
when up comes
this girl from France
who invited me to her house
I went but she had a friend
who knocked me out
and robbed my boots
and I was on the street again

well I rapped upon a house
with the US flag upon display
I said could you help me out
I got some friends down the way
the man says get out of here
I'll tear you limb from limb
I said you know
they refused Jesus, too
he said you're not him
get out of here
before I break your bones
I ain't your pop
I decided to have him arrested
and I went looking for a cop

I ran right outside
and I hopped inside a cab
I went out the other door
this Englishman said fab
as he saw me leap
a hotdog stand
and a chariot that stood
parked across from a building
advertising brotherhood
I ran right through
the front door
like a hobo sailor does
but it was just
a funeral parlor
and the man
asked me who I was

I repeated that my friends
were all in jail, with a sigh
he gave me his card
he said call me if they die
I shook his hand
and said goodbye
ran out to the street
when a bowling ball
came down the road
and knocked me off my feet
a pay phone was ringing
it just about blew my mind
when I picked it up
and said hello
this foot came through the line

well, by this time I was fed up
at trying to make a stab
at bringing back any help
for my friends
and Captain Arab
I decided to flip a coin
like either heads or tails
would let me know
if I should go
back to the ship
or back to jail
so I hocked my sailor suit
and I got a coin to flip
it came up tails
it rhymed with sails
so I made it back to the ship

I got back and took
the parking ticket off the mast
I was ripping it to shreds
when this coastguard boat
went past
they asked me my name
and I said Captain Kidd
they believed me but
they wanted to know
what exactly that I did
I said for the Pope of Eruke
I was employed
they let me go right away
they were very paranoid

well, the last I heard of Arab
he was stuck on a whale
that was married to
the deputy sheriff of the jail
but the funniest thing was
when I was leaving the bay
I saw three ships a-sailing
they were all heading my way
I asked the captain
what his name was
and how come
he didn't drive a truck
he said his name was Columbus
I just said good luck